


Milkshakes

by amorluzymelodia



Category: Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-25 18:28:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4971721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amorluzymelodia/pseuds/amorluzymelodia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You haven't eaten for days and the boys help out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Milkshakes

You were weak. You couldn't even eat the minimum 1,200 calories you needed to survive, and you were a hunter. You should be able to fight big bads and still be able to maintain a healthy weight. But your idea of a healthy weight was so skewed now. A little bit of fat between your fingers on your stomach made you gag, a simple roll when you bent over made you hate yourself. And Sam and Dean knew nothing.

They were your brothers, the two most wonderful men in your life. They loved you and took care of you and helped you learn how to hunt when you got attacked by a werewolf one day when walking home from the late shift at work. Castiel came into your life not that much later and all three of them took you in, no questions asked. But being surrounded by two greek gods and an angel didn't exactly do wonders for a girl's self esteem. Especially when you saw the girls they brought home with them. Skinny, beautiful goddesses to match their amazing physique. And here you were, just...you. Fat, ugly, simple you. It was beginning to be too much. 

It started small, just skipping the fries and milkshake at the diner. Maybe ordering a salad instead of a burger, normal things that Sam applauded you for and Dean rolled his eyes at. But when that didn't work as you'd wanted it got worse. Skipping entire meals, going entire days with only water and an apple. You started joining Sam on runs, but when you started lagging and getting dizzy he made you stop, saying hunting was enough exercise. But it wasn't.

You still weren't good enough, weren't skinny enough. You hated yourself and that feeling wasn't going away. So you stopped eating altogether. Aside from the times Sam and Dean and Cas looked at you oddly when you didn't order in a restaurant and were forced to order a salad or some chicken. But other than that it was strictly water and somethings fruit for you. Even that was getting difficult.

Today was particularly bad. You'd noticed a layer of fat forming on your stomach, and that ticked you off. Even if you're thighs and butt were where you wanted them to be, that little layer of fat made you self conscious. It had been days since you'd had anything substantial to eat and you were hunting a rugaru today, of all things. Of course you'd be hunting something that is overcome with hunger, when you hadn't eaten in days. 

"Y/N!" Dean pounded on the motel's bathroom door and you dropped the hem of your shirt, covering the offending stomach. "Come on! We're packed up and out in five minutes!"

"Got it!" you shouted back, hating how hoarse your voice sounded. After splashing your face with water you exited the bathroom and grabbed your duffle, nearly toppling when it's weight pulled on your shoulder. Luckily Sam was there and caught steadied you.

"Whoa." he said and grinned at you. "Steady girl."

You tried to grin back but it must've come out like a grimace because Sam frowned at you.

"You okay, Y/N?" he asked kindly. "You look a little pale."

You shrugged and adjusted the bag on your shoulder. "Yeah, I'm good!" you tried to sound upbeat, but it sounded like a lie even to your ears. 

"Okay," Sam didn't look convinced but shrugged anyway and you followed him out the door to where Dean was waiting in the car.

The hunt didn't go well to say the least. You'd had a dizzy spell in the middle of fighting the rugaru and he'd had you pinned in a second.

"Look at you," he hissed. "You're not even worth it, there's no meat on your bones." but before he could say any more Dean had killed him easily, making you look like a weakling. 

When you'd gotten back to the motel all you wanted was a shower but your stomach was growling and tensing, objecting to the lack of food. Dean slammed the door behind the three of you and you flinched.

"What the hell Y/N?" he demanded.

"Dean lay off." Sam warned. "She was slow, so what? We all make mistakes."

"That's not what I'm talking about Sam. What's going on with you kid?" he asked you. 

"Nothing, what are you talking about?" you sounded panicked and they could tell. 

"You haven't eaten in days, Y/N." Dean said strongly. "You're getting thinner and thinner, and your face looks paler than Sammy in the summer. Are you sick?"

Thankful that he'd provided an excuse you nodded quickly. "I haven't felt good, that's all. I just couldn't keep any food down, but it'll pass I promise." 

"She's lying." Castiel's voice shocked all three of you and Dean chastised him. 

"Don't do that, Cas!" 

"Y/N isn't sick." Cas said, ignoring Dean. "At least not in the way you mean."

"What?" Sam asked. "Then what's going on?"

"You're right Dean," Cas said sadly. "Y/N hasn't eaten in days. But not because she's sick. Because she doesn't think she deserves to." 

There was silence for a long moment and then Sam looked at you sadly. "Is that true, Y/N?" he asked quietly.

Tears welled up behind your lids but you didn't stop them. You sat down heavily on the mattress. "I'm not a good hunter, I can't even keep up with Sam on a one mile run. I'm...I'm not pretty like the girls you bring home Dean. So yeah I skip a few meals to try and get my weight to where I want it what's the big deal?"

"The big deal is that you're starving yourself Y/N!" Dean nearly shouted but with a look from Cas he took a deep breath. "You can't do this to yourself, kiddo. You're more beautiful than you think."

You shook your head. "Don't lie to me, Dean."

"I'm not. I swear to you, you're beautiful. I don't hit on you because I respect you too much. You're not some bar fling that I spend one night with. You're my girl, my Y/N, and you deserve better than the cheesy pick up lines I throw at girls."

"He's right, Y/N." Sam said kindly, sitting next to you on the bed and putting an arm around you. "We care about you a lot and we want you to be healthy and happy. So what if you can't keep up with me on runs? I have a giant stride, not even Dean can keep up. But you need to eat sweetheart. You can't starve yourself, you'll just waste away."

"Sam and Dean are correct, Y/N." Cas spoke up. "Nutrition is vital for humans to survive, especially when that human is a hunter who battles literal demons each and every day. It's not safe to go without food, which you saw today."

"I'm...I'm sorry." you buried your head in your hands and Sam hugged you gently, like he was afraid to break you. 

"Don't be sorry, kiddo. But you need to talk to us when it gets bad like this okay? We won't judge you, we just want you safe."

"Okay I'm going to the store!" Dean said loudly and you looked at him. "I'm making you a burger with fries, onion rings and a milkshake right now!"

"I don't think that's wise, Dean." Cas said.

"Why not? She's eating, I'm not letting her starve anymore."

"She hasn't eaten in days Dean, to put that kind of food in her body could very well make her sick. She needs something with more nutritional value. Like a hearty salad, or noodles with vegetables."

"So we have to feed her Sam's rabbit food?" Dean's face of disgust made you laugh, almost.

"For now, yes." Cas said. "We can work up to burgers and fries but for now let's start small."

"Okay kiddo?" Sam asked you. "We'll start small, but we aren't going to let you do this to yourself anymore. You're too precious for that."

You nodded. "It'll be hard. But...I'll try, for you three."

Sam smiled and kissed your forehead. "That's all we ask, sweetheart."

"We love you, Y/N," Dean said while Cas nodded. "And we'll get through this, together."


End file.
